Business almost always begins and ends with a handshake. This is a common custom in many cultures. The handshake serves as a greeting and bids farewell. Not everyone likes physical contact and the handshake provides an appropriate way to establish a connect without trespassing on another's personal space. So what does one do when one runs into a hugger?
To hug or not to hug, that is the question. Are you a hugger? Have you ever been on the giving or receiving side of a hug that made the situation very uncomfortable? In some other cultures, kissing your friends on both sides of their cheeks is acceptable, especially for close friends. In American culture, some areas, particularly Southern states, a quick hug is often given. Similar to the European double cheek kiss, these hugs are usually reserved for close friends or longtime associates, but can happen without permission or request.
Consider for a moment that you are at the end of a business meeting and you are preparing to leave abruptly, your former colleague reaches out to give you a quick hug. Do you offer them a handshake, possibly making them feel like you don't want to hug them? Or, do you go ahead and extend a hug so as to not risk hurting the hugger's feelings?
Solution: Hugging is a very personal choice and varies from person to person. Family background, culture, and environment play a major role in whether or not we decide to accept or refuse a hug.
If you are in a situation where you know two people well and there are others in the party that you do not know well, you may try to start the hello or goodbye process with the people you do not know well first. This can be done by extending your hand for a proper handshake while still respecting their presence and space. Next, turn to your friends and offer them a hug. This way, no one is left feeling uncomfortable.
What if someone is reaching out to hug you and you do not know them well? When someone is coming in for the hug, be proactive and initiate a handshake. Extend your hand towards them and look them in the eye. Make sure your feet are firmly anchored so they don't shake your hand and pull you in for the hug. (This happens a lot with excessive huggers) Body language is a strong communicator and these actions should help the non-hugger avoid those unwanted embraces.
I hope this post helps folks avoid unwanted awkward situations!
As a hugger myself, I never really think about other people not wanting to get that close to me! Good post! ; ) Vicki B.
ReplyDeleteThanks Vicki!! :)
ReplyDeleteLove that you mentioned "des bises" or the French cheek kisses I know. I suppose there is a lot of Europe who does this sort of greeting. I find a lot of the rest of the world is a bit more open to touch than Americans. In general Americans are very low contact except family and those they know well. Very interesting.
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